1) He has had a bedtime since he was around 2 weeks old. We did this by just listening to him and when he started to get tired we would begin the routine. This had him bathed, boobed (breast fed) and in bed, (moses basket in our room until 8 weeks) between 7 and 9 pm. This timing was refined to 6.30 bath 7.30 bed and added baby massage into the mix (this has helped so much to relax him I try to do it every night) . James would often read to him while I bathed him (in a washing up bowl at first now in our bath). I thought it would be nice for Teddy to hear daddies voice for a change after hearing me quacking at him all day!
We were determined not to bully him through the night and always followed his lead. After a matter of weeks Ted really responded well to the nighttime rituals. So we kept them up. Simple as that. He started 'building up feeds' as we called it, from 5pm he would breastfeed more often, which we think took him until the 1am feed when he was still little. Don't get me wrong he woke up for feeds and until he was on the bottle (just before 6 months) he woke at around 1am and 4am to be fed and them cuddled back to sleep. He continued to wake at around these times, out of habit I think, until just a week or so ago. I would go in and cuddle him back to sleep. Either with a dummy or not. We had the bad nights when he comfort fed and woke every hour and there were many nights when we co-slept, much to the daddies horror!
I never left him to cry. Just couldn't listen to it. I still can't. So shoot me. Controlled crying is not for me. I can't say whether this helped or not. But I don't regret it. My view is: I'm a full time mum who doesn't have work to get up for (at the moment) so if I have to get up then I have to get up. Not ideal. Boo hoo.
Whilst we were establishing this routine (or rather Ted was) I read, just for interest Gina Fords contented little baby. Her ethos is based on the premise that babies do not settle themselves into routine. I found this to be totally untrue. Everything we did was led by Ted. So, all those new mums who feel they need some control and routine, don't feel that Ms Ford is the only way. She may be a bestseller but, in my view she doesn't have the best advice......waking a baby at 7am after a sleepless night is madness! Use the link above and have a look for yourselves...not for me I'm afraid.
2) I feel that the key to the sleeping through (we never had trouble getting Ted to sleep at first, he just could never get back to sleep without a cuddle or a breastfeed), was putting him down awake. I found that he was more comfortable (as he got older) on his front. After he is bathed etc, fed and winded (always 2 burps. Classic) I give him his dummy and lay him down. Do a few things in the room (I often leave washing to fold until then). He usually drops off on his own with little fuss. If he starts to become unsettled I soothe him in the bed "its sleeping time now" etc until he lays back down. Try it. At first I was skeptical but it really worked for us. When he wakes in the night now he can usually settle back alone or I go in quietly and do as before. If I'm making it seem easy don't be fooled its not. I do believe that this is because he feels safe and secure on going to sleep thanks to the routine.
3) Finally, every night (or 99% of them) is the same. Ted responds to this. Yes, it can be an effort sometimes to get home or whatever. But it works for us.
Every baby is different but this routine gave James and I our evenings back which may sound selfish but the time to be just James and Lucy is precious and was much needed in the early weeks when I really thought I would never get to watch another film or have dinner together again. Happy parents = happy baby. Simples (she says, just wait....look out for tomorrows post "awake every hour").
Beautiful.
simples - love it! brilliant post - if i had a baby i would find this useful tee hee xoxoxoxo
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