Mummy and Daddy time.

You know those people I mentioned in an earlier post? The ones who say their babies never cry. The 'my life is perfect and also the nappies smell like roses' people. Well, they are the ones who say that they never argue with their husband/partner about the baby. Or even argue at all. Ever. All they say is that the baby has brought them closer together. Well here's the truth. We all argue.The baby has bought us closer together as well, but thats not the end of the story. One reason he bought us closer is beacuse we can navigate the crappy times better. I can tell you that James and I have had some of the biggest 'ding dongs' as he calls them since having Teddy. We argued over who is more tired (seriously it was so pointless that its funny...now). By the way, it was me...... Obviously. We argued over why Ted could be crying. We would end up having a row when he got home from work, even though all I had wanted to do all day was see his face. In the early days we seemed to even argue over the things that we agreed on. We did have rows pre Ted. But they were different. I think that this was because we didn't throw lack of sleep into the mix.

Taking all that into consideration I would still agree with the obnoxious ones about one thing. Having the boy has bought us closer together in ways that I could never have imagined. Whenever we row I can't seem able carry it on because whenever I look at Teds little face, I see James and I just forget. Not for good mind you, but long enough to calm down and be rational. Over the months we have learned when to leave the fight alone and be more tolerant. Because after all, we are in the same boat. Both tired and both want whats best for the baby. It took 7 months for me to realise this. Sometimes we just need to give each other a break and try not to take our tempers out on each other. Easy to say.....did I mention that this has taken us 7 months?

So to the other mummies remember these things. They help me not to loose my rag so often:

• Ease up on him, he is doing the best he can. Its not his fault he is pathetic about the smelly nappies or has a very convenient need to 'pop to the shop' when you have a million things to do.
• He still loves you even though you are fat/have stretch marks/are a nutter (insert your own flaw here)
• He is tired too and it doesn't matter who is more tired
• He cannot read your mind. Tell him what you want. Preferably before you loose your temper with him for not guessing in the first place
• He loves you and the baby. He really does.That is the number 1 most important thing.
• Spend some time together as a family. I made the mistake in the early days (and still sometimes now) of taking advantage of the fact that James was home, giving Ted to him (dumping is his word) and getting on with jobs. The washing really isn't that important.
• Don't over think things. Men are basic.
• You wont remember the rows just the good times. Sodon't waste time, try and have more good times.

So, in the words of the equally crazy Mr Springer, time for the final thought. I had a baby with James because he is a good man. I adore him. Worship him, and now Teddy too. I wanted a boy just like him and I got it. So it can't be all bad, can it? Teds a bit of me and a bit of him. A bit of us. What on earth is there to be cross about?